How would you fight using previous player's tool

So you read what the previous post tells you the tool you use to fight a battle, and after that, you write a tool for the next poster to use. I'll start.

Using Nothing:
I would call for parlay?

Next tool: Bag of Sugar

Using [Bag Of Sugar]
I would plan out a trap. The trap being luring the enemy to a nearby Fire Ant colony and cover them in sugar, while pushing them into the colony.

Next Tool: Pack Of Tissues

Using [Box of tissues]

I would sneeze into the tissues and stuff it down an enemies throat (hoping they will get a disease)

Next tool: A Portal Gun

Using [Portal Gun]

I would shoot the roof and the floor inside of the building, push them in the loop, after letting my opponent build up speed. I release the portal on the floor and my opponent explodes into meaty bits and pieces...

Next Tool: Kindness

Using [Kindness]

I would torture the living heck out of everyone that is against me, break their minds and their spirit as I keep healing them. Using Kindness, I would give them the mercy to see that they should never consider rebelling against me no longer. Being kind is to prevent the worse to come, even if you are one of the bad person.

Next Tool: A Portable TV playing an anime of your choice

Pick up TV.
Smash TV against target.
Repeat until desired outcome is achieved.
Profit.
The anime playing is irrelevant (which is good because I don't watch anime)

Next Tool: A single grain of sand

Using [A single grain of sand]

I would make a machine that would make the single grain of sand to launch at lightspeed, and hit them with it. Puncturing their skull and making a hole the size of a single grain of sand in their brain.

Next tool: The 'A' key in your keyboard (unattached to the keyboard)

Using: an A key

Replace someone else's A key with this one, then replace someone else'/ with theirs, repeat. Then wait for the confusion of: wait, this isn't my A key, what is going on here?

Next weapon, going in the other direction: a doomsday devise that has to be hand detonated, and the only distructiveness level is the multiverse.

Using: doomsday thing

I simply press the button. Sure, everything and everyone dies, myself included.

Next tool: Gun without ammo

Using: [Gun without Ammo]

Two choices: Fill it with ammo, or use it as a bat.

Next Tool: ZA WARUDO (applicable to self and other entities)

Using: [za warudo]
stop time.
approach enemy.
"Foolish Jotaro."
Muda Muda Muda Muda Muda Muda Muda Muda Muda Muda Muda Muda Muda Muda Muda Muda Muda Muda Muda Muda Muda Muda Muda Muda Muda Muda Muda Muda Muda Muda Muda Muda Muda Muda Muda Muda !
next tool: a hand shake.

Using: A hand shake

A melee weapon that confuses the foe with alien hand gestures, then breaks their arm.

Next tool: Ball of yarn

Using: Ball of yarn

I would either:
A. Use the ball of yarn to distract my foe like a cat, then choke them out.
B. wrap the yarn around their throat and choke them out.
C. Tie them up, then penetrate their throat with my middle fingers.
AND/OR
D. tie the yarn around their head, and shove the yarn into their mouth and nose, blocking off their airflow.

Next tool: Bustamark

Using: Bustamark

I simply pick him up and smash him into my target until there's nothing left of either of them.

Next tool: A burger from Wendy's

Using: A burger from Wendy's

Wrap it up in a taco bell wrapper and tell people it's the XXL Grilled Stuft Beef Burrito. Failing that, shove the whole thing down their throat and watch as they slowly cease movement due to a lack of oxygen.

Next tool: Nella

Using: Nella
I hug them til they submit or until they pass out cause i hug tight :P
Next tool: a potato

Using: A Potato
I plant potatoes, making them severely dependent on them, then poison the potatoes, causing a repeat of the Irish Potato Famine. I then feed them Nella. (Disclaimer: The last bit is a joke, Nella Best Girl!)
Next Tool: A Plastic Spoon

Using: A plastic spoon
I take my time scratching the spoon against the wall repeatedly for hours until it becomes sharp enough to pierce skin and flesh properly, then i wield it against my opponent stealthily as if fighting with a dagger.
Next Tool: Revolver & Snake Oil Glass.

Next tool: Revolver & Snake Oil Glass
You didn't say the Revolver was empty, so I just shoot them :P.
Either that or I smack em' over the head with the revolver and glass.
Next Tool: A Monkey Turd (Medium Sized)

Using: A Monkey Turd (Medium Sized)
Put it in a radiation liquid and fling it at someone.
Might have side effects of touching it, so be careful.
Next Tool: A pool of salt.

Using: A Pool of Salt
Method: Flay my enemy alive and roll them in the salt whilst beating them with a whip covered in nails. Occasionally rinsing them down with lemon juice before being rolled in salt once more.
Next Tool: A hopeless amount of hamsters

Using: A hopeless amount of hamsters
Method: Choke them to death while they ignore the pain and my attack due to the cuteness and fluff of the hamsters. Optionally, let the hamsters starve and toss the enemy inside a pit with them.
Next Tool: A car, with a system that avoids ramming into people, turning to buildings if that were to be the case. It cannot be overridden.

Using: A car, with a system that avoids ramming into people, turning to buildings if that were to be the case. It cannot be overridden.

Method: Take the Gasoline out of the Car and yeet it on my opponent, hopefully soaking them and their clothes in it. Then take out a Lighter and yeet that thing at them afterwards aswell!

Next Tool: A Trashcan filled with Beer Bottlecaps.

Using: A trashcan filled with beer bottlecaps.

Method: Automatic beercap machinegun.

Next Tool: Zero luck.

Using: Zero luck

Method: Have skill

Next tool: A magic healing potion disguised as a detonator disguised as a computer disguised as a suitcase disguised as a machine gun disguised as a car disguised as a tank disguised as a submarine disguised as a plane disguised as a nuke disguised as a watermelon.

Using: What Greenranger9 said.

Method: This simplifies to a magic healing potion disguised as a watermelon. I use this to heal in the middle of the fight, gaining the advantage.

Next tool: A crossbow that has a 75% chance of misfiring, shooting the bolt backwards into the wielder's eye.

Using: A crossbow that has a 75% chance of misfiring, shooting the bolt backwards into the wielder's eye.

Method: Get the rapid-fire version, shooting 100 bolts in a second, at least one should hit them.

Next tool: A cat with enough sentience to not want to kill

Using: That cat

Method: Saw (I won't disclose further due to how painstakingly gruesome and obvious what I'm implying)

Next Tool: Oompa Loompa song.

Edit: Yes, I'm talking about the movie. Not the tool.

Using: Oompa Loompa song

Method: Play it darkly on a flute until it slowly drives you insane

Next Tool: Crying child

future (or current) archaelogists will quickly realise why this train inexplicably collapsed 10 days ago

Using: Crying Child

Method: Use the child's crying to rupture my enemy's eardrums, then get Nella to work her magic on the child.

Next Tool: A Microscopic Speck of Sand (You can only use the Speck of Sand, and it can't have its size, chemical/physical build-up, or anything else changed)

Footnote: Checkmate Elderprince

Using: A Microscopic Speck of Sand (You can only use the Speck of Sand, and it can't have its size, chemical/physical build-up, or anything else changed)

Method: Be a brain surgeon, get a brain operation on my enemy, put the sand into the brain, it might not kill them, but it should disrupt their brain's signals, and make them insane to the point of killing themselves.

Next Tool: An old man's stick, AND you have to make the old man kill them with his stick (no taking his stick and killing them yourself).